In a sex slump? Find your love language with Gwyneth Paltrow’s sexpert
How far would you go for mind-blowing, toe-curling sex?
The real-life couples on “Sex, Love & Goop” a new Netflix docu-series from Goop queen Gwyneth Paltrow
out Thursday, Oct. 21 , are brave enough to air their dirty laundry (and lingerie) in order to fix their physical connections with their partners. The lovers are paired with intimacy and sexuality coaches who help them get in touch with their bodies and express their deepest desires in the bedroom.
Among the sexperts is Jaiya, a svelte, silver-haired sex therapist based in Boulder, Colo. The somatic sexologist — which she describes as “someone who works not just with the mental aspects of sexuality, but actually works with the body as well” — helps couples overcome the blind spots and hang-ups that are holding them back from sexual bliss.
“Oftentimes, people come to see me because there’s some kind of discrepancy in the relationship,” Jaiya, 44, told The Post. “One of them wants more sex than the other one, they think that they’re on different pages, but a lot of it is just not communicating about sex.”
On the show, Jaiya teams up with Erika and Damon, a married couple who have been together for six years, and whose uneven sex drives are starting to threaten their connection. The attraction is there — “The first time I met her, I think I fell in love with her,” Damon, an artist, tells the camera — but Erika is less interested in getting it on than her lusty, and more experienced, husband.
That’s where Jaiya steps in. She introduces the couple to her theory of five “erotic blueprints” — like love languages, but for turn-ons.
There’s the sensual (someone who likes all of their senses, from sight to smell, stimulated in bed), the kinky (a person who gets hot and bothered by things that are considered taboo), the sexual (someone who is into looking at, and touching, naked bodies) and the shape-shifter (someone who is genuinely aroused by it all, depending on the moment).
Jaiya told The Post it was an encounter with an energetic many years ago that allowed her to draft her blueprints for the first time: “I’ll never forget the day — it hit me like lightning! I was working with a couple, [the guy] was on the table … and I just started hovering my hands, not touching him and his body started to quiver and respond. Then, his eyes popped open, and he looked at me he was like, ‘What’s happening? That feels so good!’”
On the show, Jaiya gives Erika and Damon a quiz, then brings out some props — including blindfolds, fuzzy toys and sharp metal claws — to help them both figure out what they like. Much to their surprise, Erika and Damon both prove to be energetic, allowing them to find that elusive, tantalizing common ground — and leading to one of the most memorable moments of the show’s six episodes: a contactless orgasm.
Jaiya introduces her partner, Ian, to demonstrate all of the sizzling potential of energetic play. First, she lays down blindfolded on a table while Ian manipulates the air around her head and her pelvis while she writhes. Next, the pair sit face to face, getting increasingly hot and heavy, even though their lips and bodies never touch.
Jaiya said that these activities are all about teasing. “[It’s like] the energy before the anticipation of a kiss. In the anticipation, there’s a lot of arousal and turn-on that happens, and essentially that’s what we’re playing with, we’re playing with not touching.” (She adds that Ian found this all very “woo woo” at first, but now he’s into it.)
All of the show’s sexperts promote body positivity and open communication, helping duos such as Camille and Shandra — a lesbian couple overcoming shame and conservative religious programming — find more comfort with their bodies. Even superstar Paltrow, who hosts the show along with her friend and intimacy coach Michaela Boehm, admits she struggles with negative body image. “I feel like the next phase of work in my life has to be around real acceptance, because I drive myself really hard to not age and to not be disappointed in the way I look, and I’m still disappointed in the way I look.”
For Jaiya — who told The Post that as “a little girl, I wanted to be Dr. Ruth when I grew up” — the secret to sexual satisfaction is getting real with yourself and your partner about what you like, and not being shy on the road to figuring it out.
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Even Gwyneth Paltrow’s Son Isn’t Shocked by Her Vibrator Line
After everything else his mom has done, it’s not a big deal.
With a vagina-scented candle, two Netflix series that aren’t shy about sex, and more naked selfies than anyone can keep track of, Gwyneth Paltrow has plenty of material to embarrass her kids with. But at this point, it would appear that they’re used to it all. During an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Paltrow explained that her son, Moses, wasn’t surprised to learn that his mom was selling vibrators on her lifestyle site, Goop. In fact, he thought it was, well, cool.
“Can I tell you the sweetest thing? This really happened,” Paltrow told DeGeneres. “A few months ago, out of nowhere, he said, ‘Mom, I was really embarrassed for a minute that Goop sold vibrators.
And then I realized no, this is great — you’re making people feel not embarrassed to buy something, and that’s great. You’re a feminist.’ I was like, ‘Thank you, my dear!’ It was so cute. It was really, really nice. I’m sure he’s still embarrassed, but at least he’s putting a good spin on it.”
Sneak Peek: How Gwyneth Paltrow’s Teen Son Reacted to Goop’s Sex Toys
Paltrow, who is set to premiere her new Netflix show next week, also opened up about talking about sex with her daughter, Apple.
She told Entertainment Tonight that when it comes to situations that could be awkward, she’s just honest and open. For now, though, she said that her kids haven’t been asking her much. Maybe they’ve gotten all the information they need from the Goop newsletter?
“I try always to be neutral on the topic. I think my generation, we got a lot of messages around sex that made us feel bad about it,” she said. “I try to just be curious. And teenagers are never going to want to talk to their parents about sex ever, so I sort of follow their lead, and luckily in middle school they had a very thorough sex education, so the school handled the kind of birds-and-the-bees parts, and then I am there for any questions. But the questions are pretty minimal.”
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Still ‘in the Honeymoon Phase’ with Husband Brad Falchuk 3 Years After Wedding
“I have worked hard to break old patterns,” says Gwyneth Paltrow, of lessons learned from past relationships
She’s been wed to producer Brad Falchuk for three years, but for Gwyneth Paltrow, that “just married” feeling hasn’t gone away.
“I have a little bit of a blessing that we’re still in the honeymoon phase,” the Goop founder, 49, tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “I am really lucky I married Brad. There is just something about us together. We’ve been able to build on all the stuff we’ve gone through in life and create something really amazing. And I’m grateful for our chemistry. That can get you through some tough spots!”
Fittingly, in her new Netflix series, Sex, Love & goop, launching October 21, the Oscar winner leads discussions with five couples navigating everything from marriage intimacy to past sexual traumas — and opens up about her own previous relationships.
“It’s so important to be honest,” Paltrow says. “If you’re trying to please somebody or be somebody you’re not, you’re lying to yourself. There are definitely times in my life when I look back and think, ‘I was not aligned with myself.’ And therefore I was in a relationship that was not positive for me.”
In part thanks to “a lot of therapy,” Paltrow, who shares Apple, 17 and Moses, 15 with her ex Chris Martin whom she divorced in 2016, says she was able to recognize unhealthy patterns in her past.
“We don’t like to fail, and we don’t like to be vulnerable and we white knuckle through it,” she says. “We push our inner voice down. But when you start to admit the hard stuff to yourself, there’s no way back.”
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Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Kate Paltrow is an American actress, model, businesswoman, singer, and author.
(/ˈpæltroʊ/; born September 27, 1972)
She is the recipient of various accolades, including an Academy Award, a Golden Globe Award, two Screen Actors Guild Awards, and a Primetime Emmy Award.
Paltrow gained notice for her early work in films such as Seven (1995), Emma (1996), Sliding Doors (1998), and A Perfect Murder (1998). She garnered wider acclaim for her performance as Viola de Lesseps in the historical romance film Shakespeare in Love (1998) which won her several awards, including the Academy Award for Best Actress. This performance was followed by roles in The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999), The Royal Tenenbaums (2001), Shallow Hal (2001), and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004).
Goop
Goop is a wellness and lifestyle brand and company founded by actress Gwyneth Paltrow.
Launched in September 2008, Goop started out as a weekly e-mail newsletter providing new age advice, such as “police your thoughts” and “eliminate white foods”, and the slogan “Nourish the Inner Aspect.”
A website was later added, and then Goop expanded into e-commerce, collaborating with fashion brands, launching pop-up shops, holding a “wellness summit,” launching a print magazine, a podcast, and a docuseries for Netflix.
Goop has faced criticism for marketing products and treatments that are harmful, described as “snake oil,” based on pseudoscience, and lack efficacy.
Chris Martin
Christopher Anthony John Martin is an English singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, producer, and philanthropist.
(born 2 March 1977)
He is the lead singer, pianist, and co-founder of the alternative rock band Coldplay. Born in Exeter, Devon, Martin went to University College London, where he formed a rock band with Jonny Buckland, Guy Berryman, and Will Champion in 1996 called Starfish, which was eventually renamed Coldplay in 1998.